Dear Bill* (Brother),
I remember as little kids driving our bikes to the lake and playing all day then riding back to the cabin sun burnt and exhausted- but happy. I remember in high school you let me hang out with you and your friends. I have fond memories of you and me as brothers. Lately, it seems like I don’t even recognize you. Your face has changed. You seem so much older to me. You don’t laugh or smile. I feel uncomfortable around you. Your drug abuse has gotten out of control. I no longer trust you. You have lied to me too many times. Even worse though was when you stole money from our own grandmother to fuel your drug abuse.
I have become a liar. I lie to everyone to cover up your behavior. It makes me feel terrible to lie to people because my brother is addicted to drugs. I pretend that you live in another country when people ask me how you are. You have lost jobs and you are wasting away both financially and physically in front of our eyes.
John, if you do not accept this opportunity to go to treatment today, I will no longer lend you money, give you rides, or take your phone calls. If you do not receive help today I am cutting off all communication with you. I cannot enable you in your choice of lifestyle. I cannot participate in your drug abuse any longer. Will you receive the help that’s being offered to you today?
*Brian
Dear Dad;
I know we don’t talk about our feelings for each other but dad you need to know that I love you and am very proud of you. You have done amazing things in your life and have always encouraged and encouraged and supported me to follow my dreams.
When I ran into trouble with my relationships you were the one I turned to and trusted.
Dad, I have watched your alcoholism take over your life. You use to love hunting, fishing, and hiking. Now all you do is come home and drink. You have even been hospitalized because of your drinking. We no longer go fishing or camping together. I feel my heart jump every time the phone rings because I am waiting for something bad to happen to you.
Dad, I love you and want to continue to explore the outdoors with you. We are here today because we love you and want you to get help. If you chose not to accept this gift of love our relationship will change in the following ways. Dad, we will not come and visit on the holidays for your annual holiday dinners. We will not let you see your grandchildren because we do not want them exposed to you when you are drunk and that’s PRETTY MUCH ALL OF THE TIME NOW.
Dad, will you accept the help we are offering you and go for treatment today.
Love George*.
* not their real names